The Mets can’t afford to let Rhys Hoskins remain living free in their heads.

You’d have to be superhuman, five-headed, and swift with all five heads to catch every game on Opening Weekend. But I caught what I could with what I had:

Wait Till Next Year Dept.—Of course you could hear Met fans purring that lament, after the Mets incurred a weekend sweep at the hands of GM David Stearns’ former but still built-by-him Brewers. These are still the fans who know the season’s lost over one bad inning . . . on Opening Day.

Not Terribly Bright Section: Mets second baseman Jeff McNeil fuming over newly-minted Brewer Rhys Hoskins sliding hard and late in the first game. We get McNeil’s fury, especially being spiked on the play, even if baseball government ruled the slide legal. But Hoskins is a known Met antagonist. The Mets will have enough issues going forth without letting him live rent free in their heads.

Dishonourable mention to Mets reliever Yohan Ramirez for winging one behind Hoskins on the first pitch the day after. Sure we’ll believe you weren’t trying to drop him. News flash: You want plausible deniability, wait another pitch or two before sending the message.

By the way, the geniuses who cobbled baseball’s schedule together this year sure picked a pair of bookends—the Mets and the Brewers won’t meet again until the final series of the regular season. It’s plausible that each might be playing for a postseason berth. The Mets better make damn sure Hoskins’s free lease in their heads is expired by then.

Is This Year Next Year Dept.—It’s not that Yankee fans are suddenly going to drop their sense of entitlement or shelve the “What Would George Do?” demands at the first sign of trouble. But a season-opening sweep of the BBA (Big Bad Astros) just had to make Yankee fans feel as though they were getting a special Easter present this time around.

It had to feel even better when the Yankees’ newest import, Juan Soto, factored large enough in the weekend doings. He threw the tying run out at the plate on Thursday night, then he poked what proved the winning run home Sunday in the top of the ninth. And when he couldn’t or didn’t do it, someone like Oswaldo Cabrera could and did: his 4-for-5 with three steaks Friday helped the Yankees to a 7-1 ambush over the AL West ogres.

Resurrection Section: Easter Sunday’s win was the first of the four-sweep in which the Yankees didn’t have to come from behind. By the way, on Saturday, Soto was one of three Yankees to dial the Delta Quadrant—Cabrera hit a two-run homer to tie in the seventh; Soto went solo with two out in the inning to break the tie; and, Anthony Volpe went solo for an insurance run in the eighth.

What’s Uproar, Doc Dept.—Bottom of the seventh in Tropicana Field. Blue Jays vs. Rays. Randy Arozarena on third after a leadoff single, a theft of second, then a theft of third on a swinging strikeout. José Caballero at the plate for the Rays, bunting for a base hit and getting it, scoring Arozarena and taking second when Jays third baseman Justin Turner overthrew first base.

Caballero gunned for third when he realised the throw went into the right field bullpen in foul territory. Jays right fielder George Springer grabbed the ball and threw to shortstop Bo Bichette covering third, with reliever Genesis Cabrera backing the base, getting Caballero out by a few steps. Uh-oh—Caballero bumped into Cabrera on the play, they swapped words . . . and Cabrera gave Caballero a big enough shove to empty the benches and the bullpens.

Bichette pulled Caballero away and two Jays starting pitchers, José Berrios and Alek Manoah, got Cabrera away. That cooled the scrum off practically as fast as it began. The Rays finished what they started, a 5-1 win en route a season-opening series split with the Jays, and Cabrera landed a three-game suspension Sunday, which he’s appealing.

And what were the words that triggered the scrum? According to several sources, Cabrera told reporters Caballero said, simply, “What’s up?” Seriously?

No Betts Are Off Dept.—You weren’t seeing things when you awoke Monday morning to read the season statistics thus far: Mookie Betts has been a threshing machine for the Dodgers out of the gate. In their first six games, the Mookie Monster has four home runs, ten steaks, a .621 on-base percentage, and a 1.136 slugging percentage. (1.757 OPS.) And, the Dodgers followed a season-opening split with the Padres by taking three of four from the Cardinals.

The hard part for the Cardinals: playing Sunday with a short bullpen thanks to their lone win, a Saturday night come-from-behind special. Overall, they’re also missing some key arms thanks to injuries to starter Sonny Gray (hamstring) and reliever Keynan Middleton (forearm).

Bounced Check Dept.: Miles Mikolas, Cardinals righthander, on 16 March: “We’re not exactly a low payroll team, but you got the Dodgers playing checkbook baseball. We’re going to be the hardest working group of Midwestern farmers we can be . . . It would be great to stick it to the Dodgers.”

Miles Mikolas, starting for the Cardinals to open the series against the Dodgers: Four and a third innings pitched in which he was hammered for seven hits and five earned runs including a pair of home runs by Betts and Freddie Freeman, opening his season with a 10.38 ERA.

The farmers barely brought their pitchforks and plows to bear. The Dodgers went on to win that opener, 7-1, and the Cardinals went on to being out-scored 23-14 for the set.

Hold Those Tigers Dept.—Don’t look now, but the Tigers—they who went 78-84 to finish second in the anemic AL Central last year—have opened their season atop the division. They swept the White Sox in three, though not overwhelmingly: they outscored the White Sox by a mere three. But it’s still a promising beginning.

From there the Tigers are scheduled for three against the Mets in New York, the Mets wanting nothing more than to put that season-opening 0-3 behind them if they can. The Tigers, of course, would love to make it difficult for them to do so.

Keept Your Witts About You Dept.—Royals shortstop Bobby Witt, Jr., when Opening Weekend ended: a major league-leading 1.888 OPS. The Royals, after Opening Weekend ended: 1-2, fourth in the AL Central. To survive this season, the Royals will need to keep more than their Witts about them. And, a lot more than Brady Singer on the mound for them.