The Dark Knight swallows his own sword

Matt Harvey, walking off the mound after the Marlins battered him early and often Monday . . .

Matt Harvey, walking off the mound after the Marlins battered him early and often Monday . . .

Now it seems a century ago when Matt Harvey all but ordered manager Terry Collins to let him try to finish what he started in Game Five of the 2015 World Series. The Series the Mets should have won but for their porous defense.

The game in which Harvey took a 2-0 shutout to the mound and discovered the hard way his heart was more full than his gas tank, surrendered a leadoff walk and an RBI double, then came out and watched helpless as the Royals exploited, yet again, a defense that could have been tried by jury for treason.

St. Elsewhere, New York Mets

Flores, fouling one off his face Saturday.

Flores, fouling one off his face Saturday.

The Astros’ return to Houston was as great a spiritual lift for that Harvey-battered city as their weekend set with the hapless Mets was a spiritual drop for the Mets’ battered fans. Sweeping the Mets sure didn’t hurt the Astros, as healers and as likely postseason entrants, but some would suggest that sweeping what’s left of these Mets was doing it the cruelly easy way.

Matt Harvey, human and heartbroken

Contrite as he apologised publicly to the Mets, Matt Harvey didn't talk about losing the girl who didn't exactly return his feelings completely.

Contrite as he apologised publicly to the Mets, Matt Harvey didn’t talk about losing the girl who didn’t exactly return his feelings completely.

Is it really time for the Mets to think what was once unthinkable, a future without Matt Harvey? Would waiting for him to make the medically necessary transition from a pure power pitcher to a pure thinking pitcher be worth the headache (pardon the pun) of his apparent makeup issues?

Citi Field’s Animal House; or, the Wreck of the Metsperus

Mishandling Matt Harvey's migraine could prove another huge headache for the Wreck of the Metsperus . . .

Mishandling Matt Harvey’s suspension could prove a big migraine for the Wreck of the Metsperus . . .

What’s next for the New York Mess (er, Mets)? Pitchers coming in from the bullpen in the Deathmobile? Hazing their rookies by sending them on a mass Food King shoplift? A toga party at second base? A food fight in the clubhouse? Welcome to Citi Field’s Animal House.

I’d better amend one of the foregoing. At the rate they’re going, three more Mets would be injured during the food fight, one of the rookies on the mass Food King shoplift would come up with a strained oblique, and another would suffer a shoulder separation firing the pistol at the rampaging horse.

The Mets bomb in Philadelphia—the right way

Hitting his third bomb of the night---"I think I was seeing the ball well," he said, in the understatement of the night.

Hitting his third bomb of the night—”I think I was seeing the ball well,” he said, in the understatement of the night.

Perhaps if the Mets knew Yoenis Cespedes would hit three home runs the day after, the might ask someone to take one for the team every day. For results like a 14-4 blowout of the Phillies Tuesday, you might find any number of Mets willing to take a pitch upside the head the night before.

Season on!

Take that, Donaldus Minimus!!

Take that, Donaldus Minimus!!

Let history record that the first run batted in of the 2016 season was delivered by a pitcher. At the plate. A pitcher who’d had only three runs batted in in his entire career (nine seasons) prior to last year, when he drove in seven. And his name wasn’t Madison Bumgarner.

Let history record further that Clayton Kershaw was the beneficiary of the worst Opening Day blowout in major leaguer history a day later. And, that Bryce Harper rocked the best postgame cap around the circuits. So far.

As we turn toward spring training’s final week . . .

Fifty cent fines for mental mistakes . . .

Fifty cent fines for mental mistakes . . . may not be as chintzy as they look on the surface . . .

Watch these folks this spring . . .

Some other people to watch closely, very closely, as spring training begins rounding into serious shape:

Can the Pirates' Searage repair the Bard?

Can the Pirates’ Searage repair the Bard?

THE BARD OF PITTSBURGH—Daniel Bard was one of baseball’s best pen men with the 2009-11 Red Sox. Then Terry Francona quit before he could be canned, Bobby Valentine was brought in to man the bridge, Bard was turned into a starting pitcher—and became a mess of his own in the middle of the Valentine nightmare. He signed a minor league deal with the 2014 Cubs and never got out of extended spring training. He signed with the 2014 Rangers and disappeared again. He’s signed a minor league deal with this year’s Pirates. The hope is that Pirates pitching coach Ray Searage—who’s repaired such fractured pitchers as Francisco Liriano, J.A. Happ, and Edinson Volquez—can repair the Bard.

WS Game One: Crazyball

What Escobar began on the first pitch with a little help from two miscommunicating Mets . . .

What Escobar began on the first pitch with a little help from two miscommunicating Mets . . .

Open a World Series with an inside-the-park home run thanks to an unexpected brain vapour by the opposing battery and a pair of outfielders. Finish the game after fourteen innings and with a sacrifice fly.

These Kansas City Royals may have done crazier things than that in their two-season-and-maybe-counting return to American League supremacy. But they’re not about to bet on it.

Harvey paints an opening win for the Mets

2015NLCSLogoApparently, Matt Harvey is a lot more resilient than credited. We already know that no amount of controversy can faze him, which sometimes works to his disadvantage, whether he’s pondering his innings counts aloud or whether his agent is doing the pondering on his behalf as if giving his team orders. Why, not even a line drive off his forearm can send Harvey away.

For a moment it looked like everyone in a Met uniform would swarm to be sure he’d survive after Dexter Fowler lined one off his right forearm in the top of the sixth. And Harvey simply waved them off. After he picked up the ball and threw Fowler out, that is.